About

Your humble writer is a bloke from South Africa – living in Gangster’s Paradise, or Gauteng Province Port Elizabeth, Eastern Province Auckland, New Zealand. As a 29 50 odd -year-old pale male in South Africa (with all the joys and challenges that such a status entails), the author has had a full and varied life; from photographer to programmer, soldier to systems analyst, cook to stock market trader. He has travelled extensively in this land of beauty and beastliness, stupendous sunsets and unutterable savagery, including over 1500 kilometres on foot, quite a distance on elbows and at least two short episodes on bended knee (for the uninitiated, that refers to the state of marriage).

Mindful of the rapidly approaching onset of old age and decomposition, a man in my position (I’m trying to type this in the bath) shouldn’t wait too long to inflict his scribblings on the world at large. No, I haven’t a clue what you might have done to deserve it, just grin and bear it or, if you feel so inclined, grin and bare it.

This blog will NOT be politically correct, but I try not to discriminate – I’ll attempt to create content to offend as many people as possible. No, but seriously, this page needs to be viewed with your sense of humour set on ‘high’. Feel free to ask questions. I’ll not promise to answer every one, but will include pertinent amendments as time goes on.

General disclaimer:

This blog is a work of satirical fiction. Any references to places, events or people, are used fictitiously. Other names, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s (sometimes overactive) imagination; and any resemblance to places, events or persons, living, dead or even feeling a wee bit ropey are entirely coincidental.

Copyright notice…

The contents of this blog, including, but not limited to text, images, podcasts, multimeda files and material formats not yet invented (with the exception of links to external URL’s which are not owned by the author) are the copyright of the author of this blog. No contents hereof may be reproduced in any manner (especially publications for gain) without the express, written consent of the author. So there.

23 Responses to About

  1. Bronwen Wade says:

    Good one! Can’t wait for more. Reminds me abit of Spike Milligan…one of my favourites.

  2. Bill says:

    Well done Alan. Touched my funny bone.

  3. The Lass, Sass says:

    Go forth and concur!
    Just popped on for the briefst little squiz and ended up spending much of my lunch hour here. My waist line thanks you.
    I look forward to having more time to devote to your devotion.
    xxx

    • Hi Sass Lass.
      Thanks so much for popping by. Hope it made you smile, and I’m very happy it had a positive effect in the dietary department – although I will assert that – when we graced Aloe with our presence, you had very little to worry about in the equatorial region. I, on the other hand, am determined to attend to my circumference as soon as my leg allows me.

  4. thayn says:

    Damn now I am number #2001

    • Daaahling, to me you will always be #2001….

      No wait. Put the light on. You’re not Nicole Kidman! Unhand me you scoundrel! In the cold light of an energy-saving globe, your credentials, without question, don’t match hers.

      Oh well, you might not be as pretty as Nicole, Thayn, but feel free to lurk. It’s good having you around mate.

      FFC

  5. marinda says:

    Sheer brilliance ~ You are a genius with words! Strangely familiar? Thank’s for leaving a very wide ‘grin’.

    • Marinda, you’re one of the kindest, sweetest ladies on the planet. Thanks for visiting and I hope that future visits will provide smiles, relaxation and an all-round lekka place to chill and/or waste time.

  6. Ivor Whibley says:

    I too will keep an eye on this, as after much procrastination I have started a blog of my own.

  7. Alan “the Largoo” you are such a silly boy, very pleased you have finally found an avenue to share your silliness with us mere mortals with woefully undeveloped right brain hemispheres…

  8. Sue Zheng says:

    Hi there! I’m Sue, and I’m from SlimKicker, a fitness/diet app and website. I saw your blog yesterday and it captured my interest!

    I was wondering if we can do a giveaway for your blog readers?

    Our website basically turns people’s fitness/diet goals into a level up game with challenges such as quitting soda for a week. We’re looking for new challenge ideas, so was thinking of holding a contest where your readers leave a comment on a health challenge idea + sign up on our site

    We’ll pick our favorite challenge idea, use it on our site, and give the winner either a free digital health scale, slow cooker, or digital heart monitor. We’ve done many giveaways for bloggers in the past – you can google ‘SlimKicker giveaway’ to see. I also encourage you to sign up for our site to see what we’re about too

    Let me know if you’re interested! You can email me back at sue.zheng (at) slimkicker (dot) com.

    Best,
    Sue

    • Hi there Sue,
      Apologies for the delay in replying.

      A quick question: Would your giveaway also be applicable to people living in South Africa – are there any other restrictions that might apply?

  9. santerrecomique says:

    You have been nominated for a Liebster Award. Congratulations!
    http://santerrecomique.com/2013/06/17/santerrecomiques-liebster-award/

  10. santerrecomique says:

    I have nominated you for a Liebster Award. Congratulations!
    http://santerrecomique.com/2013/06/17/santerrecomiques-liebster-award/

  11. gpcox says:

    Great to meet you.

  12. Roger Richard says:

    Love this site!!!! Thank you for sharing your wit and wisdom. 🙂

    • Mate, that’s a really kind thing to say. Thanks so much for visiting. Hope to post more scribblings as time goes on, to ensure discerning readers such as your good self keep on coming back.

      Best wishes
      FFC

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