The Old Masters – re-interpreted 171

‘Allo, ‘allo! Bonjour mes ami! Ah herp zis blerg post finds vous all feeling tres bon.

You will be relieved to learn that the rest of the post doesn’t have to be read in an appalling French accent. It is not often that I have de Gaulle to share a passage (thank you Allison) of such concentrated punnage that it can make the eyes water at 50 paces. However, I defy you to read the thief’s response without a French accent.


A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre.

After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings and made it safely to his van. However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of petrol.

When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied, “Monsieur, zat is the reason I stole ze paintings. Ah had no Monet to buy Degas to make ze Van Gogh.And now I ‘ave Toulouse my freedom.“……………

Right, onward and upward. In the Gallic spirit of today’s post, we’ve got Jean-Francois Millet taking one for the team.


ONE THURSDAY AFTERNOON ON THE JIHADI PRACTICE RANGE: “Honestly Fatima, I don’t know why they bother burying them. There isn’t even enough of Ahmet to put in a match box let alone a coffin.


About Freud Fission Chips

Despite the banality of the name, FFC has led an intensely varied life. Grateful for surviving almost three years as a 'troepie' (soldier for non-South African Readers) in the Angolan war, he determined to wring as much out of life as possible. Currently providing Business Analysis services, trading on the stock market and developing web pages to pay the bills, FFC also dabbles in wildlife, landscape and people photography, writing, and far too many interests for his own good. He has also travelled extensively in southern Africa (working on the sound theory that a moving target is more dificult to hit). These peregrinations also include over 1500kms on foot through some of the worlds most spectacular scenery. It hasn't all been plain sailing, beer and skittles, and endless beds of roses... Chief amongst the prerequisites for surviving Africa, with its mind-bending characteristics, is an appropriate sense of humour.... So, for now, he will be recounting the amusing among the annoying, the frustrating wrapped in the funny and extracting the mirth from the melancholy... Oh yes, there might be some alliteration too.
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