The Old Masters – re-interpreted 170

I don’t know about you lot; but officially, Spring might have sprunged and the grass might have rizzed, but it’s still pretty nippy around those parts that a good curry ought to reach. Therefore, I think a handy, helpful, homespun hint might add some value to this site (that the previous attempt at alliteration removed – Mrs Chips). So, here’s how to maintain body heat when those about you are shivering their timbers….

Stand with your getaway sticks (thank you Badger) approximately shoulder-width apart. With one hand on your Egginbacon toasty, rotate the other arm as if you were doing windmill impressions. Now rotate the first arm in the opposite direction – allowing the centrifugal force to keep you upright, and the contents of the toasty to spread onto fellow commuters. This simple exercise will keep you warm, attract females of the opposite sex and prevent injury as you pummel the reputation of an Old Master.


I don’t care how unfair you think life is Cedric. If your desktop is broken, you’ll just have to look stuff up in books like we had to.

About Freud Fission Chips

Despite the banality of the name, FFC has led an intensely varied life. Grateful for surviving almost three years as a 'troepie' (soldier for non-South African Readers) in the Angolan war, he determined to wring as much out of life as possible. Currently providing Business Analysis services, trading on the stock market and developing web pages to pay the bills, FFC also dabbles in wildlife, landscape and people photography, writing, and far too many interests for his own good. He has also travelled extensively in southern Africa (working on the sound theory that a moving target is more dificult to hit). These peregrinations also include over 1500kms on foot through some of the worlds most spectacular scenery. It hasn't all been plain sailing, beer and skittles, and endless beds of roses... Chief amongst the prerequisites for surviving Africa, with its mind-bending characteristics, is an appropriate sense of humour.... So, for now, he will be recounting the amusing among the annoying, the frustrating wrapped in the funny and extracting the mirth from the melancholy... Oh yes, there might be some alliteration too.
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