The Old Masters – re-interpreted 133

With only a few hours to go before the male of the species begins his Christmas shopping, we know this to be an extremely stressful time; a time when tempers and overdrafts are tested to the extreme; because for many, the Tide of Yule is all and only about tinsel and trees; feasting and families; an alcoholiday – if you will – to anaesthetise one from that uncomfortable nagging knowledge that, long after one’s liver has recovered, one’s credit card will still be hurting from the extravagance of buying mostly useless tat for people who won’t appreciate it.

For those dear folk suffering such dire impoverishment, we spare a thought….

We at the Institute, make bold to offer some sage wisdom [we had a bit left over from the chicken stuffing, so we thought why waste it – FFC]. Avoid the unpleasant consequences of swearing at a smarmy shop assistant (as depicted in the painting below) or using a blunt instrument to bludgeon a mean-spirited motorist. Get the shopping over and done with and return to the comfort and safety of your home – THEN you can smite a dead artist to your heart’s content; Jean Béraud for example.

Beraud - fashion package - insulting the shop assistant and Bernice ended up wearing the christmas decoration

After insulting the shop assistant’s gift-wrapping abilities, Bernice retreats, wearing the shop’s Christmas tree, and nursing minor bruises and lacerations.

About Freud Fission Chips

Despite the banality of the name, FFC has led an intensely varied life. Grateful for surviving almost three years as a 'troepie' (soldier for non-South African Readers) in the Angolan war, he determined to wring as much out of life as possible. Currently providing Business Analysis services, trading on the stock market and developing web pages to pay the bills, FFC also dabbles in wildlife, landscape and people photography, writing, and far too many interests for his own good. He has also travelled extensively in southern Africa (working on the sound theory that a moving target is more dificult to hit). These peregrinations also include over 1500kms on foot through some of the worlds most spectacular scenery. It hasn't all been plain sailing, beer and skittles, and endless beds of roses... Chief amongst the prerequisites for surviving Africa, with its mind-bending characteristics, is an appropriate sense of humour.... So, for now, he will be recounting the amusing among the annoying, the frustrating wrapped in the funny and extracting the mirth from the melancholy... Oh yes, there might be some alliteration too.
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