The Old Masters – re-interpreted 51

For the past few weeks I’ve either been juuust on time or even a tad late with Wednesday’s Old Master duel. So why not be early for a change? I happened upon this picture and, in view of Oscar’s current high profile trials and tribulations in South Africa, I thought I’d offer relationship advice to others in similar situations (you don’t get this kind of advice just anywhere you know)…. Artist is unknown.

The new girlfriend?

The new girlfriend?

To the tune of Skip To My Lou
I had a gun
And a girlfriend too
Now I got none
And I’m in the poo
I Should have told her what to do
Skip to the loo my darlin’

Skip, skip skip to the loo
make a big noise whatever you do
Dead if you don’t
and stumped if you do
Skip to the loo my darlin’

Post Script:

It’s been a couple of days since I posted this pic and the response by my genius friends has caused many giggles ‘n chuckles. I thought I’d share a few that I received from another site….

André: “I must admit, this OP three-step is a real fun dance

Dennis (in pirate mode): “AAaaarrrghhh…this National Health Gin be good

Rob: “I thought it was just a figure of speech when they said voting for the ANC would cost the country an arm and a leg

Steve: “Impressive wood there Sir. Fancy a leg-over? Oh wait.. you’ve only got a leg over”

Leon: “ In the end, Oscar was committed to Sterkfontein for life“…..[Sterkfontein is one of South Africa’s better known ‘Happy Pill academies’]

By way of thanks (or could it be revenge?)… I thought I’d pen another wee ditty. A parody if you will – but with a bit of Dr Phil thrown in….
[to the choon of Side by Side]

Oh we ain’t got a barrel of money,
Maybe we’re ragged and funny, ….[original words to get you started]
But my woman’s alive and I think we’ll survive,
Side by side.

Don’t give vent to your temper,
You’ll be the guilty offender,
It’s much better by half, if you lead with a laugh,
Side by side

Though her faults are many,
Making you oh so blue,
Don’t think you don’t have any,
She’s also saddled with you.

When the judge considers that sentence,
May-be there’ll be some repentance,
But for this ragged pair, we’ll beat that despair,
Side by side.

PS – if you’re having trouble remembering the choon – you can sing along here…

About Freud Fission Chips

Despite the banality of the name, FFC has led an intensely varied life. Grateful for surviving almost three years as a 'troepie' (soldier for non-South African Readers) in the Angolan war, he determined to wring as much out of life as possible. Currently providing Business Analysis services, trading on the stock market and developing web pages to pay the bills, FFC also dabbles in wildlife, landscape and people photography, writing, and far too many interests for his own good. He has also travelled extensively in southern Africa (working on the sound theory that a moving target is more dificult to hit). These peregrinations also include over 1500kms on foot through some of the worlds most spectacular scenery. It hasn't all been plain sailing, beer and skittles, and endless beds of roses... Chief amongst the prerequisites for surviving Africa, with its mind-bending characteristics, is an appropriate sense of humour.... So, for now, he will be recounting the amusing among the annoying, the frustrating wrapped in the funny and extracting the mirth from the melancholy... Oh yes, there might be some alliteration too.
This entry was posted in Falling down on your arts?, Humour - or humor, Parody, Satire and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s