The Old Masters – re-interpreted 50

It is indeed an auspicious Wednesday here in South Africa. They’ve even made it a public holiday in honour of the occasion. It is a time when all intelligent citizens in South Africa consider their futures and how they can misinterpret the next Old Master – for the grand 50th misinterpretation no less [cheers from the gallery and streamers all over the place – completely disregarding the poor blighter who has to clean up].

Oh, sorry. Were you thinking of the general election? No no no – that’s something else entirely. The South African election is merely a massive mob of people getting together and putting a semi-literate joke into power for his next term of office – thus providing mild amusement to the rest of the world at boring dinner parties, and perpetuating the validity of Churchill’s statement that, “the best argument against democracy is a five minute discussion with the average voter”.

No, we won’t be covering that here today. We’re doing important stuff.

So, in honour of this, the 50th assault on the intentions of the Masters – we’re offering you not one, but two – and not old but New Masters [more boisterous behaviour in the gallery – and said cleaner hands in his resignation].

Kim Kardashian called - she wants her curtains back right away -

Ray Charles called – he wants his curtains back right away.

That visit to the Chinese chiropractor has certainly done you a power of good Claude. You lie there - and perhaps there while I get the Kama Sutra.

Well Claude, that visit to the Chinese chiropractor has certainly done you a power of good. Now you lie there – and perhaps there – while I get out the Kama Sutra.


About Freud Fission Chips

Despite the banality of the name, FFC has led an intensely varied life. Grateful for surviving almost three years as a 'troepie' (soldier for non-South African Readers) in the Angolan war, he determined to wring as much out of life as possible. Currently providing Business Analysis services, trading on the stock market and developing web pages to pay the bills, FFC also dabbles in wildlife, landscape and people photography, writing, and far too many interests for his own good. He has also travelled extensively in southern Africa (working on the sound theory that a moving target is more dificult to hit). These peregrinations also include over 1500kms on foot through some of the worlds most spectacular scenery. It hasn't all been plain sailing, beer and skittles, and endless beds of roses... Chief amongst the prerequisites for surviving Africa, with its mind-bending characteristics, is an appropriate sense of humour.... So, for now, he will be recounting the amusing among the annoying, the frustrating wrapped in the funny and extracting the mirth from the melancholy... Oh yes, there might be some alliteration too.
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