It is indeed an auspicious Wednesday here in South Africa. They’ve even made it a public holiday in honour of the occasion. It is a time when all intelligent citizens in South Africa consider their futures and how they can misinterpret the next Old Master – for the grand 50th misinterpretation no less [cheers from the gallery and streamers all over the place – completely disregarding the poor blighter who has to clean up].
Oh, sorry. Were you thinking of the general election? No no no – that’s something else entirely. The South African election is merely a massive mob of people getting together and putting a semi-literate joke into power for his next term of office – thus providing mild amusement to the rest of the world at boring dinner parties, and perpetuating the validity of Churchill’s statement that, “the best argument against democracy is a five minute discussion with the average voter”.
No, we won’t be covering that here today. We’re doing important stuff.
So, in honour of this, the 50th assault on the intentions of the Masters – we’re offering you not one, but two – and not old but New Masters [more boisterous behaviour in the gallery – and said cleaner hands in his resignation].