The Old Masters – re-interpreted 24

The week is more than half way over and it is time to take our frustrations out on the defenceless dead; to wit, an Old Master.

Ahoy! Yes, we're from that ship over there....No he hasn't finished surrendering yet.... Bit embarrassing really. The Prince wants to know if anyone here has a pen.

Ahoy! Yes, we’re from that ship over there….No he hasn’t finished surrendering yet…. Bit embarrassing really… The Prince wants to know if anyone here has a pen.


About Freud Fission Chips

Despite the banality of the name, FFC has led an intensely varied life. Grateful for surviving almost three years as a 'troepie' (soldier for non-South African Readers) in the Angolan war, he determined to wring as much out of life as possible. Currently providing Business Analysis services, trading on the stock market and developing web pages to pay the bills, FFC also dabbles in wildlife, landscape and people photography, writing, and far too many interests for his own good. He has also travelled extensively in southern Africa (working on the sound theory that a moving target is more dificult to hit). These peregrinations also include over 1500kms on foot through some of the worlds most spectacular scenery. It hasn't all been plain sailing, beer and skittles, and endless beds of roses... Chief amongst the prerequisites for surviving Africa, with its mind-bending characteristics, is an appropriate sense of humour.... So, for now, he will be recounting the amusing among the annoying, the frustrating wrapped in the funny and extracting the mirth from the melancholy... Oh yes, there might be some alliteration too.
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11 Responses to The Old Masters – re-interpreted 24

  1. And how did they get the ships to stand still for long enough to paint them?

    • An excellent question sir, thank you. Following your post, we at the institute sent out a team of archaeologists to dig up parts of the ocean where this incident was thought to have taken place.

      Their findings indicate that commissioned artists (later to become official photographrers – later to become bl@@dy nuisances) held quite a lot of sway in naval circles – including those with circular navels.

      It appears that the accepted practice was for the artist to place his craft in an appropriate position amongst the ships – in order to capture the scene on canvas (sometimes illuminated by igniting a bucket of magnesium powder). Once he had completed his preliminary sketches, he would run up a pair of the admiral’s wife’s knickers onto the main mast, at which point the rest of the proceedings would commence.

      In this particularly unfortunate incident, the ships had gathered for an informal, friendly regatta and portrait; but some fool misinterpreted the burning magnesium for a canon muzzle flash – and the fight was on.

      Now that you have read this explanation on the internet – you will know it to be wholly true, and you may include it in your thesis.

      But seriously now – thanks for popping by the blog – hope you enjoyed your visit.

      Best wishes

  2. Dave Rankin says:

    England expects every man to do his duty. Unfortunately we have a problem – may we borrow some toilet paper?

  3. Ivor Whibley says:

    With that many sails unfurled and some of the ships pointing toward us, others in the opposite direction it is probable that if the painter had been quick enough the “Next Minute” picture would have entailed splinters, bits of ships breaking up here and there, and the pitiful English floundering in the water having not learned to swim.

    That is why they are at the bottom of the ocean, not from any act of war, the misguided attempt by each captain trying to be in the picture is the reason for all the bedlam.

    I must say that it also looks awfully like the Americas Cup, except that our boat is not there.

    • Astute commentary Ivor, thanks mate….. makes a chap wonder… Are wars started not because of invasions and mineral wealth – but rather because of the upheaval caused by the bally photographer not having a wide enough lens?

      Answers on a postcard

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