Does radioactive fallout hamper your ability to speak properly?

The only reason I can think of for annoyingly incorrect pronounciation

I have been listening to a few British, American and South African TV programs of late, and they’re causing me a great deal more concern than all this global warming we keep hearing about. Why? Because I suspect there is a degenerative brain disease doing the rounds that apparently causes good people to gradually lose control of their speech facility.

Beware folks, it starts innocently enough, with a word here or there, but soon we won’t be able to understand one another. The youth are most at risk.

The word that currently has sufferers flummoxed is “NUCLEAR”

I’ve been hearing “NEWKILLER”, “NEWKEWLAR”, even “NOOKULUR” – anything but the proper pronunciation. One’s heart goes out to these poor folk who are so sadly afflicted, and one wonders where it will all end…. Possibly even a Newkiller blast.

So, if you feel an attack of IM (Idiotic Mispronunciation) coming on, open up your browser and say after me, “NEW…CLEAR

See? It’s not only possible, it’s laughably simple and jolly good fun.

Say it 20 times after meals and soon the repetition will burn new synaptic pathways and the disease ravaged old neurons will simply take the psychopath to that big old cranium in the sky.

Like all those other dread diseases, let us rid the planet of IM today.


About Freud Fission Chips

Despite the banality of the name, FFC has led an intensely varied life. Grateful for surviving almost three years as a 'troepie' (soldier for non-South African Readers) in the Angolan war, he determined to wring as much out of life as possible. Currently providing Business Analysis services, trading on the stock market and developing web pages to pay the bills, FFC also dabbles in wildlife, landscape and people photography, writing, and far too many interests for his own good. He has also travelled extensively in southern Africa (working on the sound theory that a moving target is more dificult to hit). These peregrinations also include over 1500kms on foot through some of the worlds most spectacular scenery. It hasn't all been plain sailing, beer and skittles, and endless beds of roses... Chief amongst the prerequisites for surviving Africa, with its mind-bending characteristics, is an appropriate sense of humour.... So, for now, he will be recounting the amusing among the annoying, the frustrating wrapped in the funny and extracting the mirth from the melancholy... Oh yes, there might be some alliteration too.
This entry was posted in Humour - or humor, Satire. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Does radioactive fallout hamper your ability to speak properly?

  1. Sass says:

    Pfft, you have managed to stumble onto one of my pet peeves here. The word ‘mispronunciation’ itself is often incorrectly used as ‘misproNOUNciation’. The worst, the absolute worst, tickle of irritation for me is the incorrect use of YOUR. “Your going to suffer from serious case of IM if you live close to a newkiller blast”. Dude, come on. You are one apostrophe and an “e” away from being of superior intelligence. Its not that tough.
    Added to this, is the inslut (intentional) to the english language, SHOULD OF. “I should of read more when I was a children”.

  2. You also seemed to have stumbled upon my incorrectly spelled ‘pronounciation’ – which I’ve now corrected. Thank you lass, for your tact and diplomacy. Thank you too for your scintillating responses…. Love them stukkend.

    In my quest to be a better ‘wordsmith’, I’ve been reading Bill Bryson’s “Mother Tongue” and “Troublesome Words” – two books, I’m confident, you’ll enjoy. You might have to order them from Kalahari – as Exclusive Books in EL doesn’t really have a wide variety. It’s worth the effort.

    Good to see you here.

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