The good burghers of Johannesburg, South Africa are being warned to stay clear of the central business district. Unconfirmed reports are coming in that Hollywood is doing a remake of The Planet Of The Apes.
Your relentless news mongrel hound can confirm that the Jane Goodall Foundation is definitely NOT making a sequel documentary on gorillas – called Primates In The Pollution.
One eyewitness, who watched a TV cameraman receive a half-brick to the head, was heard to mutter, “Evolution? What evolution?”
In related news; a group of general practitioners who have attended to the ANC leadership’s medical matters for the past 20 years and who have recently been made redundant, have recorded their dissatisfaction “in the strongest possible terms”. A spokesman for the party advised the press that this task has now been handed over to a team of proctologists who are eminently more qualified for the job.
Stay tuned for more up-to-the-minute drivel.