Breaking news…..Breaking news……Breaking – oh do be quiet.

Mr. Tom Cruise’s press team, just hours ago, advised that he recently accepted a lucrative contract with the Silicone Valley Symphony Orchestra. At a glittering ceremony during which the contract was signed, the orchestra’s delighted Director of Music concluded the proceedings by saying that Mr Cruise “has the ideal stature for a semi-conductor”.

Our thoughts are with Mr Cruise’s sofa at this time.

About Freud Fission Chips

Despite the banality of the name, FFC has led an intensely varied life. Grateful for surviving almost three years as a 'troepie' (soldier for non-South African Readers) in the Angolan war, he determined to wring as much out of life as possible. Currently providing Business Analysis services, trading on the stock market and developing web pages to pay the bills, FFC also dabbles in wildlife, landscape and people photography, writing, and far too many interests for his own good. He has also travelled extensively in southern Africa (working on the sound theory that a moving target is more dificult to hit). These peregrinations also include over 1500kms on foot through some of the worlds most spectacular scenery. It hasn't all been plain sailing, beer and skittles, and endless beds of roses... Chief amongst the prerequisites for surviving Africa, with its mind-bending characteristics, is an appropriate sense of humour.... So, for now, he will be recounting the amusing among the annoying, the frustrating wrapped in the funny and extracting the mirth from the melancholy... Oh yes, there might be some alliteration too.
This entry was posted in Humour - or humor, News Commentary, Satire. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Breaking news…..Breaking news……Breaking – oh do be quiet.

  1. Bill says:

    Maybe the penny will drop tomorrow; but for now… duh?

    • Ah Bill, you’re working too hard squire….

      Mr Cruise is, shall we say, ‘vertically challenged’. If he were Winnie Mandela’s son, he’d be called Stompie…. Therefore, as a (semi) conductor in an orchestra in Silicone Valley, we are sure he will acquit himself admirably (especially with the shorter pieces).

      Oh, and the sofa bit… (Not being a TV junkie, or an Oprah-file, it is entirely understandable that you will not be famliar with Tom’s overly effervescent outbursts). You see, Mr Cruise is on record displaying his excessive exhuberance on the aforementioned talk show by leaping up and down on Oprah’s sofa. I believe, in reference to a new woman in his life, or spawning a kid – or something.

      There you have it – hope that helped.

  2. sassy lass says:

    So you are basically just mocking a short dude?

    Mmmmmmmmmmm I think I likes that

  3. Check list….
    He’s got several more millions than me (I’m still working on my first)
    He’s got better abs than mine
    He’s significantly better looking
    He’s got cars, planes and boats coming out of his ears
    He can hire out the WHOLE of Disneyland for his kids birthday –
    His teeth are whiter than a fridge door
    He has more houses than I have underwear
    He has a job

    I’ve got a blog and the best mates in the world…… I win!

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