Freeway Thrill…

The afternoon started innocently enough. A plan to visit a good mate, have a chat, find out how married life is working for him, make sure he’s treating his bride of one month properly. You know. That kind of thing.

And it would have ended innocently enough too if I hadn’t opened my stupid mouth and asked who the BMW X5 4.8iM belonged to.

The Trhill Machine

It was lurking menacingly outside like a bouncer at one of those questionable night clubs. Even in broad daylight, it had that don’t-mess-with-me-boet-you’re-going-to-look-a-lot-uglier-when-I’ve-finished-with-you look about it. You can imagine what a post man might feel the moment he’s jumped over the fence, only to see a bull terrier silently sizing up his wedding area. Not being faint of heart, I accepted the invitation to be taken for a drive.

Now, I’m generally not a fan of BMW’s since so many of them are owned by utter pillocks (well, in Johannesburg anyway), who seem to like sticking so close to your rear bumper, that you feel they’d like to know you in the biblical sense. I’ve actually seen a woman in my rear-view mirror (at 120kmph) applying mascara. At that speed and proximity to my vehicle, she’d have less chance (BMW or not) of stopping in time, than Bafana have of winning the 2006 World Cup!! But I digress.

The ride to the highway gave me time to take in the sumptuous interior, luxury fittings and almost indecent level of driving comfort. Then we turned onto the highway.

I don’t know which I was concerned about most, a speeding fine, or the fact that I’d left an imprint of my face on the back seat. To say the acceleration was electrifying is like saying it’s quite a distance to Pluto. The return journey was just as bad/good. The scenery outside approached and disappeared at a blur as all four wheels sought and fought to get us to take-off speed. I even saw a guy in a Merc SLK500 get whiplash as he tried to see who or what had passed him.

I’m not going to tell you what speed we reached, in case it ever goes legal. What I will say, is that some aircraft become airborne at that speed. However, all too soon it was over and we had to apply some serious braking power to make sure we didn’t shoot past the turnoff, and end up somewhere unplanned, like Australia.

“Not bad for two and half tons,” said my mate quietly as I tried to loosen my grip on the seat. I daren’t disagree – just in case we went again.


About Freud Fission Chips

Despite the banality of the name, FFC has led an intensely varied life. Grateful for surviving almost three years as a 'troepie' (soldier for non-South African Readers) in the Angolan war, he determined to wring as much out of life as possible. Currently providing Business Analysis services, trading on the stock market and developing web pages to pay the bills, FFC also dabbles in wildlife, landscape and people photography, writing, and far too many interests for his own good. He has also travelled extensively in southern Africa (working on the sound theory that a moving target is more dificult to hit). These peregrinations also include over 1500kms on foot through some of the worlds most spectacular scenery. It hasn't all been plain sailing, beer and skittles, and endless beds of roses... Chief amongst the prerequisites for surviving Africa, with its mind-bending characteristics, is an appropriate sense of humour.... So, for now, he will be recounting the amusing among the annoying, the frustrating wrapped in the funny and extracting the mirth from the melancholy... Oh yes, there might be some alliteration too.
This entry was posted in Humour - or humor. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Freeway Thrill…

  1. Flash EC says:

    Please could you send me a Self-Address-Stamped-Envelope for the return of your washed and ironed under-garments!

    The Flash 🙂

  2. The Lass, Sass says:

    All fair and well! Sounds similar to walking in a pair of Jimmy Choos (said in a reverent tone)

    • Hi Sass Lass,
      Point admirably made. I dare say, however, that at 160kph, that the Beemer was just a smigeon safer than Jimmy’s Choos at 16kph – ‘specially if I was wearing ’em. A drag race of a very different shade I fear. [cackle]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s