South African 2010 Bonanza!!

Visitors, intent on coming to South Africa for the 2010 Soccer thingy, are in for a excitement-packed time… At enormous effort and no small expense, many South Africans are preparing to lay out much more entertainment bang, for your foreign buck.

With little or no thought for their own personal loss, members of the United Transport and Allied Trade Union (Utatu) have just completed the dry run to show foreign visitors a little of South African daily life.

Between Tuesday 11th and Wednesday 12th May 2010 – a mere 29 days to kickoff – 18 locomotives were damaged and set alight and a fuel train was derailed in a spectacular display of union welcome. Unfortunately the train didn’t catch alight, clearly disappointing several tourists who were probably watching the TV while they packed their suitcases. Union officials were not available to issue a formal apology. For more details, check out

Any  well heeled visitors, arriving by cruise ship in Durban harbour ahead of the opening, were treated to a bonus performance as striking workers brought the port to a halt (for the full story =, with union workers indulging in some lively horseplay, allegedly ‘just to make any football hooligans feel at home.’

Several other unions are eager to get in on the act, with the Communication Workers’ Union (CWU) marching proudly through the streets of Johannesburg.

So hurry, hurry, hurry!! Get your last minute tickets today. There are more than enough unsold tickets (rather more than planned, to be honest). We don’t have a drug problem, or a crime problem, or a violence problem, or a corruption problem, or a rape problem, or a murder problem. No, seriously. Jeremy Clarkson says that’s all a load of nonsense. And if you can’t believe Jeremy Clarkson, who can you believe?


About Freud Fission Chips

Despite the banality of the name, FFC has led an intensely varied life. Grateful for surviving almost three years as a 'troepie' (soldier for non-South African Readers) in the Angolan war, he determined to wring as much out of life as possible. Currently providing Business Analysis services, trading on the stock market and developing web pages to pay the bills, FFC also dabbles in wildlife, landscape and people photography, writing, and far too many interests for his own good. He has also travelled extensively in southern Africa (working on the sound theory that a moving target is more dificult to hit). These peregrinations also include over 1500kms on foot through some of the worlds most spectacular scenery. It hasn't all been plain sailing, beer and skittles, and endless beds of roses... Chief amongst the prerequisites for surviving Africa, with its mind-bending characteristics, is an appropriate sense of humour.... So, for now, he will be recounting the amusing among the annoying, the frustrating wrapped in the funny and extracting the mirth from the melancholy... Oh yes, there might be some alliteration too.
This entry was posted in Humour - or humor, News Commentary, Satire. Bookmark the permalink.

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