Since 1994, after all is said and done – and much more has been said than done – I think it has been a brilliant idea to change the names of roads etc to the so-called ‘heroes’ of the new regime – because it will help us remember… who to blame when it all goes to rat poo.
But more pertinently, it makes for most agreeable listening when the traffic report is read out on the radio stations. I give you a currrent example:
- Please avoid Julius Malema Road as it is covered with sewerage from a burst pipe. In other places where the sewerage has not yet reached, exercise extra caution as there are no white lines.
- Thabo Mbeki Motorway – is closed due to it going nowhere.
- Chris Hani Highway is now a dead end, as is the Steve Biko Boulevard.
- Deputy President Kgalema Motlanthe Street seems to be fine, and is unusually quiet at this time of day.
- Patricia de Lille Place – is all but impassable due to a surfeit of speed bumps.
- Terror Lekota Drive – Beware of hidden cracks and sink holes under a thin film of tar.
- Jackie Selebi Street – is now a one-way, ending at Pollsmoor Prison.
- Drivers are also requested to select an alternative route to ANCYL Avenue and COSATU Crescent – because an intersection was never planned.
- Jacob Zuma Drive– Exercise extreme caution as this road is full of dangerous potholes, many of which are concealed under hot water from the nearby court house spillage. Signs on this road are also misleading.
- Parliament Thoroughfare is suffering congestion with many unwary motorists ending up in the gutter.
- Nelson Mandela Bridge is collapsing as a result of age and abnormal load.
- Manto Tshabalala-Msimang Drive – is totally congested and is simply too slow.
- Winnie Madikizela Mandela Crescent has developed a massive and dangerous sink hole; and many unsuspecting drivers are coming to grief. Use any other road, even if it takes you out of your way.
- Robert McBride Alleyway is full of treacherous curves and slippery under current conditions.
- Traffic lights are out on Eskom Thoroughfare.
- Consitution Bridge is apparently still under construction.
- Affirmative Action Freeway is now a toll road. Seems you’re going to pay for it after all.
- Buthelezi Boulevard is also falling into holes and suffering the ravages of age. The confusing traffic lights and signs are causing multidirectional accidents.
- Traffic volumes are increasing noticeably on Helen Zille Bypass. But it hasn’t been tarred yet and traffic lights are showing all colours simultaneously.
Stay tuned for further reports.